Stay awake in church
Posted Tuesday, March 26, 2013 08:01 AM

"Pins and Needles"

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the
minister at her church.

"Reverend," she said," I have a problem--my husband
keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very
embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin
with you. I'll be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping,
and I will motion to you at specific times. When I
motion, you give him a good poke in the leg with
the pin."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off.
 Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. 

"...And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he
said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. 

"Jesus!" cried Mr. Jones as his wife jabbed him in
the leg with the hatpin. "Yes,  you are right, Mr. Jones,"
said the minister.

Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister
noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the
congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"Lord!" cried out Mr. Jones as he was stuck again
with the hatpin.

"Right again, Mr. Jones," said the minister, smiling and
continuing his sermon.

Before long, Mr. Jones dozed off again. However, this
time the minister didn't notice. As he picked up the
tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that
 Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to wake her husband
again. She was just sticking her husband with the
hatpin again when the minister asked, "...And what
did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mr. Jones shrieked, "You stick that darn thing in me one
more time, and I'll break it off and shove it up your butt!!"